Omir the Storyteller

Stories. Music. Politics. Technology. Baseball. Friends. Family. Potrzebie.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

I think they have the wrong guy


So, since other people are looking for "Omir" on Google I thought I would too. I was playing around with a bit of Google hackery and found a neat trick. Go to Google and type this into the search field:


(Or just click the link) This returns a list of documents with the word "omir" in the URL. The first document links to a "name poem," an acrostic in which the first letters of each line in sequence spell out "Omir." I'm happy to say this blog is the second document that comes up. With any luck at all it will someday be first.

One of the other documents is this page, which is a Kaballah web site that claims to tell me about my first name of Omir. Here's what it has to say:

Although the name Omir creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it causesa blunt expression that alienates others. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses through worry, mental tension, and tension or accidents to the head. Your name of Omir gives you self-assurance, independence, and confidence.

You have depth of mind and the ability to concentrate and to follow a line of thought to a logical conclusion. Your love of challenging the concepts of others invariably leads you to create your own ideas and to pioneer new lines of thought. Your strong characteristic of individuality qualifies you as a leader. You must be independent and you do not brook interference in any way. Although you do not tolerate interference in your own affairs, this characteristic does not prevent you from interfering in the affairs of others.

Depth of mind? The urge to be reliable and responsible? A leader? Sorry, I think they've got the wrong Omir.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

You lookin' for Omir?


The little "Site Meter" icon at the bottom left corner of the page tracks who's visited the site and some other interesting stuff like what time zone they're visiting from and what browser they're using. It's a fascinating combination of interesting information, depression, and humor. Depression because, like all other bloggers, I secretly wish hundreds of visitors would throng this blog daily and it turns out it's just me, my brother Oxnard and a couple of people who got lost looking for a gas station with a clean rest room. Humorous, because over the last couple of days people have visited here from somewhere on the other side of the world, brought here because they were searching for the term "Omir" on Google. And by "the other side of the world" I mean time zones that are a couple hours ahead of Greenwich. One appears to be from the UK and another from Bulgaria.

And the other day there was a spate of hits from other pages on, none of which have any apparent commonality with me.

Ah well, when I'm rich and famous they can say they knew me when, even if it was by accident.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

The Wolf And The Lamb


Once upon a time . . . ever notice how all good stories happened once upon a time, even if it was just last week?


Anyway, once upon a time, much longer ago than last week, I assure you, there was a wolf who lived in the forest. His usual diet was squirrels, rabbits and other small creatures that couldn't outrun him, but he liked larger meals when we could get them. And at this very moment, as he was getting a drink of water from the brook, what should he see downstream but a lamb, drinking from the same stream.

The wolf's eyes lit up and he started drooling a bit at the prospect of getting his choppers around some mutton on the hoof. But how to proceed? He thought for a moment, then called out to the lamb, "Hey you!"

The lamb looked up, startled. "Who me?"

"Yeah, you!" snapped the wolf. "You see anyone else around here?"

The lamb, not used to such rough discourse, looked around and meekly said, "No."

"Then I'm talkin' to you, ain't I? I'm talkin' to the guy who's fouling my stream."

The lamb looked at the wolf, then at the stream, then at the wolf again. "Please sir," he said, "it couldn't have been me. I am downstream from you and could not have fouled the stream."

"Well then," continued the wolf without missing a beat and inching closer to the lamb, "What were you doing spreading sheep-doodles all over the forest for me to step in?"

"Please sir," said the lamb, backing away, "I've never been to the forest. I live in the pasture with my dam."

"Ah!" said the wolf, closing in, "then surely you were the one who was spreading lies about me last year."

"Please sir," said the lamb, getting ready to run as fast as his little legs would carry him, "It could not have been me, for I am but six months old and have never said an unkind word about anyone."

"Well isn't that just too damn bad," the wolf snarled, "because if it wasn't you, it was surely your sire, and now you are the one who's going to pay!"

And with that the lamb began bleating and running, but of course he was no match for the wolf, and a few minutes later the wolf was alone in the clearing, wishing he'd had the foresignt to bring along a pot of mint jelly.

Any excuse will serve a tyrant.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Good heavens


Am I the last person to learn everything? I just found out my daughter has a blog. If you happen to see this, you might throw a bit of mojo her way. She is a bit down at the moment.



So a few minutes ago I got up and did a blood test, and came up with a reading of 76. If you don't know, this is on the low side. Considering that my diabetes has been under pretty poor control for the past couple of years, this is great! The reason is a new drug called Actos, which works with the insulin and metformin to help unlock my cells to insulin, and therefore glucose.

There's no other deep philosophical reason for this entry, I just felt like mentioning it. Maybe more later after I've had a shower and am feeling a bit more human now that I've eaten.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

About The Fox And The Stork


This week I went back to Aesop. Not because I'm lazy, although I am that and then some. I'd been thinking about this story for a long time, what with the debate on the so-called "nuclear option" and all. I write these stories to promote progressive values, but today's story is also aimed at Republicans in the Senate who want to push the big red button, not that they pay the slightest bit of attention to me. Maybe they'll be able to push through their agenda if they do; maybe not. But someday the Republicans won't be a majority in the Senate any more, and if the Republicans succeed in cutting off filibusters by a simple majority vote, they won't be able to use the filibuster when the Democrats are in charge.

In researching this story last night I found a couple of different morals attached to it. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is a popular one. "One bad turn deserves another" was another, although I'm not crazy about that one. I was originally going to use "What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander." It's a fine old expression, dating as far as I can tell back to Shakespeare's time or earlier. (One can never be sure about these things.) But, I ultimately chose "What goes around comes around" because I think it fits the story best. It's the Law of Karma. Not "karma" in the Buddhist sense, but karma as most Westerners think of it: As you sow, so shall you reap.

Thank you for coming by! I'm always happy to see you, and if you liked the story, please say hello. And as always, happy stories until next week.

The Fox And The Stork


Once upon a time, the animals got along much better than they do today. That doesn't mean they didn't eat each other, of course, but they would sometimes get together like civilized creatures to enjoy each others' company. Kind of like the Chuck Jones cartoon where when the whistle blew at 5:00 PM, the coyote would knock off trying to steal the sheep and the sheepdog would stop beating the living daylights out of the coyote, and they would punch out at the time clock and say "Goodbye" and "See you tomorrow."

So at any rate, one day Fox decided he was going to invite Stork over for dinner. Fox prepared a well-chilled vichysoisse for his guest, who sat down to eat, only to discover that Fox was something of a trickster. He had placed the soup into a shallow bowl, and while he could easily lap the soup out of the bowl with his tongue, Stork was reduced to staring that the soup with a sad look on his face. His beak was far too long to be able to dip into the bowl, and he could no more drink the soup than you can scratch your ear with your elbow.

"What's the matter?" Fox said, a big grin on his sly face. "I'm sorry if the soup isn't to your liking."

Stork, being a gracious guest, murmured some vague acquiescence,

Two or three days later Fox got an invitation from Stork to a dinner party at Stork's house. Now Fox had been rather rude to Stork in his trick, but to not show up at Stork's house after Stork had visited him would have been a major faux pas. So, Fox accepted the invitation and appeared on the designated night.

Stork's house smelled delicious. He had spent the entire day preparing a vegetable consomme, and Fox's mouth watered. Imagine Fox's surprise, then , when Stork appeared with two large glasses full of consomme, like champagne flutes but much longer. Just the right length, in fact, for Stork to put his beak into the glass and drink the consomme, almost like sipping through a straw. Fox of course was left to just look and smell, since he couldn't even get his snout into the glass.

"What's the matter?" Stork asked, a look of mock concern on his face. "Oh, I'm sorry if the soup isn't to your liking. But, I won't apologize for the dinner."

What goes around comes around.